Sunday, July 26, 2009

aye yi yi yi yi Porto's

by Jacki

Sometimes my mouth is faster than my camera...
This weekend, I helped clog the on-ramps of our freeways to attend Cinespia, an event that could sound mildly morbid upon first hearing of it: cult movies are shown on a huge wall as you picnic on the well-kept greens of the Hollywood Forever cemetery.

The goal of the evening was to gather with two other couples, watch The Muppet Movie, drink some wine and have a picnic amongst the dead. That picnic would include 2 Buck Chuck and Five Shakes Macaroni and Cheese. Nooshi’s co-worker, friend, and thumb-sucker extraordinaire Rebecca (inside joke) and her husband, Nick, would be bringing sandwiches from a little place called Porto’s Bakery.

It would be my first time sampling the fare of this Los Angeles institution but I was already jazzed. Always liking to know what I’m getting into, I had perused their lunch menu on Thursday and requested a Cuban. I couldn’t wait to try it…which of course, if you’re familiar with my gravitational pull on Murphy’s Law, meant I would have to.

After standing in an atrocious line with a wait-time of over an hour while hampered by picnic baskets and the eclectic actions (and fashions) only Angelinos demonstrate without shame, the grounds of the cemetery reached maximum capacity. We weren’t getting in – and were left with food that was cooling and wine that was warming.

Time for Plan B: Rebecca and Nick graciously opened up their home to me, Eric, Nooshi, and Nooshi’s Eric, as it was just a short drive up the road. Soon, I would have my Cuban, and one of the most entertaining evenings I've had in a long time!

I’m going to skip over a lot here that’s actually really important; such as how stunning, cozy, and full of soul their home was, the fact that I should have let Rebecca reheat my Mac and Cheese, and my viewing of the most awesome bathroom tile I’ve ever seen. I’m even going to give mild details on the Cuban, which was incredibly good! Roasted Pork and Ham over Swiss cheese with a spread of mustard, mayo and just the right amount of pickles on Cuban bread…what could be more satisfying?

Apparently, dessert.

I bit into a big section of heaven that Porto’s calls the Refugiado™. Yes, heaven has been officially trademarked in this Guava and Cream Cheese pastry that’s listed as a top-seller.

Me, post-bite. I can't remember when I've taken such a happy photo!

I testified I would pay at least $3 for this delightful, buttery, flaky treat with a bonanza of sweet and tart tropical fruit and bite of flattering cream cheese flavor; but you can get them for 0.85 cents each.

From the two selections I’ve had from Porto’s, I believe you could go there, order anything, and find yourself satisfied in the way only truly simple dining selections with an affordable ticket can. Porto’s is just one of those magical places that strikes like the Midas touch, and caters to a neighborhood of happy clients who know how lucky they are to live so close.

*As always, sorry for the non-professional photos!


  1. Mm, that sounds great. I've actually never been to Porto's! I only get to try the Porto's savory pastries at events when people bring them over. But I have yet to try the Refugiado! These just might be worth the drive(I have a weakness for tropical flavored treats).

    Btw, you watched a Muppet movie? Lol! which one?

  2. OH MY GOD after all that we didn't get in. But, the movie they were showing was called "The Muppet Movie." It was the first one ever made and it came out in 1979 -- before you were born!

    You have to try the Refugiado. You'll seriously die. It's food porn to the max.

  3. Jacki! Something wonderful happened to me. A friend passed on a box of Porto's and I finally got to try the Refugiado(TM)!

    That was some serious food pornage in my mouth. The cream and guava having intercourse inside that pastry... Mmmmmmmmm!

  4. I am SO GLAD that you've experienced this now. I don't feel like such a freak for having photos of myself looking as if I've had an orgasm post-bite! Seriously -- they're incredible. I think I would make a trip to burbank just to get ONE -- all 80 cents worth of it! :)